Can My Spouse Stop Me From Getting a Divorce? Here’s What You Need to Know

Getting a divorce is often one of the few things quarreling spouses might agree on. But what happens when you want to sever ties and your spouse refuses to cooperate? The good news is that no one can legally force you to stay married. By following your state’s divorce laws, meeting residency requirements, and filing the necessary paperwork, you can proceed with the divorce process—even if your spouse objects. This guide explains navigating situations where your partner won’t agree to divorce and ensures you understand your legal rights.

Step 1: Understand Your Legal Rights

Even if your spouse opposes the divorce, you have the right to end your marriage by following your state’s legal procedures. Here’s what you need to know:

Residency Requirements: Most states require you to live in the state where you’re filing for divorce for a set period (typically six months to a year) before filing for divorce. Some also mandate a period of physical separation from your spouse before filing.
Filing Paperwork: You must file all required documents correctly and on time. Missing deadlines or submitting incomplete forms could delay the process.
Restraining & Protective Orders (If Necessary): If your spouse is abusive toward you or your children or struggles with alcoholism or addiction, consider obtaining a restraining or protective order for protection.

While your spouse may try to make the process more difficult, they cannot ultimately prevent the divorce from being finalized if you follow these steps.

Step 2: Choose Your Grounds for Divorce

When filing for divorce, you must specify the legal “grounds” (reasons) for ending your marriage. Grounds for divorce vary by state and fall into two main categories:

No-Fault Divorce

- All states allow no-fault divorces based on “irreconcilable differences” or an “irreparable breakdown” of the marriage
- No-fault divorces are often faster and less contentious since your spouse cannot contest the grounds.

Fault-Based Divorce

- Fault-based grounds include adultery, cruelty, domestic violence, abandonment, or substance abuse.
- If you choose fault-based grounds, be prepared to provide evidence in court if your spouse contests your claims.

Tip: Opting for no-fault grounds can simplify the process and avoid unnecessary conflict.

Step 3: Serve Your Spouse Properly

Proper Service of Process is crucial in divorce proceedings. It officially notifies your spouse of your intent to file for divorce. Each state has specific rules regarding service:

Service Methods: Options may include personal delivery by a sheriff or process server, certified mail, or publication in a local newspaper if your spouse cannot be located.
Compliance Matters: Failure to follow proper service procedures could allow your spouse to claim they were not served correctly, potentially delaying the divorce.

To avoid setbacks, consult an attorney or carefully review your state’s service requirements.

Step 4: Responding to Your Spouse’s Actions

Once served, your spouse has a limited time (as defined by state law) to respond to the divorce petition. Here are possible scenarios:

If Your Spouse Ignores the Petition

You can file for a default judgment if they fail to respond within the allotted time.
In a default judgment, the court may grant the divorce based on the terms outlined in your petition. If you filed on grounds other than no fault, you may still need to provide evidence in court.

If Your Spouse Contests the Divorce

Even if they contest it, only one party must assert irreconcilable differences for a no-fault divorce.
Disputes over property division (for example, who gets the house), support, or custody, will require negotiation or court intervention.

If Your Spouse Refuses to Sign Final Papers

If you resolve all issues but your spouse refuses to sign the final documents, courts in many states may finalize it as an uncontested divorce.

Your spouse cannot stop the divorce simply by not filing the paperwork or failing to show up in court. They might lose their rights to dispute property division, support, and custody of the children.

Step 5: Prepare for Trial (If Necessary)

If disputes remain unresolved—such as property division or child custody—the case may proceed to trial. Here’s what to expect:

Mediation or Settlement Conferences: Many judges require couples to attempt settlement or mediation before trial.
Court Proceedings: If mediation fails, both parties present their case in court.
Non-Cooperation Consequences: Judges typically view non-cooperation unfavorably. A spouse who refuses to participate may lose their ability to influence key decisions.

Tip: Keep detailed records of all interactions with your spouse during this process to potentially use as evidence in court.

The Bottom Line

Your partner might have personal reasons for wanting to stay married—emotional, financial, or otherwise. While seeking counseling may help resolve some issues amicably, remember that no one can force you to remain in an unhappy marriage. By understanding your rights and following proper legal procedures, you can confidently move forward and end your marriage on your terms.

Important Note

This article provides general information about navigating contested divorces, but is not legal advice. Always consult an experienced divorce attorney in your state for guidance specific to your situation.

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